Hicks To Fab in 10 easy steps
by Oreo.Izzxe
Summary: When you're only on the first step you don't have to be Fabulous. [Slash and slight Lita bashing. Bad Summary]
1. About The Author

Le Title: Hicks to Fab.

Summary: When you're at the first chapter no one says you have to be fabulous.

Warnings: AU: takes place in Canada. Well… slash. Matt/Lita/Edge thing never happened and well Matt and Jeff go to college.

More Warnings: I'm a sucker for Matt Hardy [ I can not help it he's adorable. I don't like Lita [not because of the 'situation of '05 because I've just never liked her. A lot of old wrestlers are in this story regardless the college is in Canada.

Disclaimer: I own nothing … [ it hurts to know that.

About the Author and The Meaning of this book. [Mr. Prologue

I, Jeff hardy of sound state or mind, or at least something on that level, made the decision to make a guide of how my brother and I survived a small art college in Toronto, Canada.

Not only were we not Canadian but we were born and raised in the south. This guide was designed for anyone who wasn't a general fit for where they we heading. I've thought long and hard how my poor excuse for a social life could benefit southern people who wish to have an adventure the vast sea of 'the yanks'.

My full name is Jeffrey Nero Hardy born to Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert Hardy. I have an older brother who this guide, book if I'm lucky, is made for. I personally think if a guide of this caliber was around before we decided 'Hey lets pack our crap and move up to the land of the North to a little art school', wed probably would be more prepared for how that decision would be affected our lives.

The effects, not in any type of order:

-Brother became gay

-lost friends due to new 'ways'

-went through withdraw from mothers home cooking

-went through withdraw from good ol' American Sunday night football

-Loss of accent.

-Brother fell in love with a complete hockey geek.

-Brother doesn't worship [insert celebrity's name

Now really I can't say this affects? effects[I forgot which the noun was is a general reaction to moving from homes comforts. But I figure after a prolong trip away from home would include effect numbers two through four.

Right now, if I were you Id say 'this boy is insane but I like it' or you're telling all your friends this dude is stupid and should shut up.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Author's Note!!!

[short but it was needed.

.. I wrote this on Tylenol PM: which I would not recommend;

This fic was actually inspired by four things

-a Peanuts comic from the 30's

-The Devil wears Prada

-Matt Hardy's accent on his promos from 7/27's SD!

-My own fanfics. [yes I'm vain

Reviews of anything is good. Seeing as the last fanfiction I wrote was in '04? and it was described as 'cute' ,, doesn't help with my writing skillz much does it?


	2. Step 1:Using The Accent

Title: Hicks to Fab in 10 easy steps.

Step 1: Use Your Accent; It Is Your Greatest Ally.

Timeline: 3 months since arrival in Canada.

_Side Note number 1: Work with an inspiration._

_If, like me, you find yourself making a book for a closing project get an inspiration. Mine is my brother. His name is Matthew. Matthew is like most stereotypical boys from the south, nice, sweet, and has the biggest ego ever. But I'm not talking about an inspiration like writing a book, more like to keep you going, to help you stay on track. Motivation is such a mundane word. _

_My brother keeps me from missing home too much; He is the one putting out more money so I have a phone to call my dad from time to time; who has never been without me and Matthew for too long. Matthew is the one who said my talent deserves a little self sacrifice. _

But back to the Step. Its human nature to like things you can own yourself. Like an accent. I couldn't tell you how many people would like to hear you're life story just because it's told with an accent. Its not even just American accents that make people interested. I actually dated a not as attractive, outside and in, girl just to hear her moan my name in her Brazilian accent.

I don't know why Canadian people are drawn to me and Matt just because we draw out the words.

Yet, that hasn't stopped me from milking it. To say my personal life has increased 22.4 percent just by being extra polite and saying meaningless things, hell, I could read the phone book and get half those girls again.

"Have a nice day, darlin'"

A nice giggle and a "Bye Jeff" floated out of the coffee shop Matthew and I slaved at.

"Do you even remember her name Jeffry?" Amy "Lita" Dumas laughed.

_Side Note number 2: You don't need an inspiration/motivation with its __own__ inspiration/motivation_

_Matt's ex-girlfriend seemed to follow us up to the art school in Canadian. It adds a distraction and makes you feel like this place is no different then home. This may cause serious homesickness. This means more stress for your inspiration/motivation. NOT WORTH IT._

Amy has to be the funniest unfunny person I've ever met. You know the people who think they're jokes are the most hilarious because they make Matthew laugh. This is his nervous 'I'm looking at something else shut up' laugh.

And here comes 'the what else', aka: effect one, six, and seven, his little personal Canada god. Long blonde hair, always ask for the same strong brew, big nice smile, and always wearing some hockey gear. We have yet to figure out the name of the 'Canada God' but today he's brought a friend. Let's see how this ends.

"You're gonna love this place, Jay." 'Canada God' smiled.

"Let's hope they got a weaker brew than the crap you brought last time Adam."

I smile at my brother who is currently the only free cashier but Amy done beat him to the punch.

"Next person here."

Matthew tried his hardest to not glare at the woman but they're both 'punk'd' when the two blondes split up and 'The God' chooses Matthew.

"Welcome to the Hubba hut. May I take your order?"

"That's a nice accent you have there." A flashed smile. A deep blush on Matthew's account.

_HA! The lesson is now tide it…. now that I'm done embarrassing myself back to Matthew's 'God'._

"Thank you. Your order?"

"Where are you from?"

"Uh… North Carolina. Your order?"

Now Matt knows the order but he's learned from the best, ask a regular they're order and it's a quick way to a conversation.

_Side note number 3: Notice your surroundings to start conversations._

_Conversation New People New Friends Social life soars More Dates! _

"It that better than South Car-o-lin-a?"

Whoa! Mocking of the accent: never cool. Your accent is things of beauty don't let it be insulted.

"Actually," Matthew's laid the accent on extra heavy "It was really only split up for taxes cause 'the yanks' figured the raise the taxes North agreed and South disagreed. Now ya order?"

"Anger and that accent makes you hotter, babe."

And with that him and his not as god-like friend left the Hubba Hut and walked off.

Amy frowned. "We'll be lucky if he comes back."

"Why do you even care?" I asked.

"Because he was clearly undressing me with his eyes." A dramatic sigh followed.

Matthew was busing himself with mulling over the tips from earlier.

"Oh," I smiled "Cause if I were to ever undress you I'd at least ask you to get my coffee."

A glare was sent my way until our extremely geeky friend, Brian Kendrick waltz in.

"My companions! Horror has struck. The theater vandalized."

"Um… little signs that are left from the parade aren't vandalism." Amy tried to reason.

"Shut up Amy. It's call making a scene. I mean you're friends with Matt who is always in a combo with Jeffrey."

"The best 2 for 1 around." My smile made Matthew give a light laugh.

"Is there a way to return half of the combo?"

"I call Matthew!" Brian called.

Now its time to go back to the dorms where we're the only ones that are there still a month from the first day of school and mine and Matthew's dorm has 5 beds… until August 3rd we'll both have full beds. God life is great.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Note From a lone oreo aka the sad loser who wrote this.

I'm in love with this chapter. : (which is one of the shorter steps.)

If ya'll couldn't tell I'm southern and I'm actually from North Carolina and I'll admit I have a hate/love relationship with SC. Too hot for me.

anyway review cause you love it. or if you want to help center this ball of firely fire.


	3. Step 2: Dress the part

Title: Hicks to Fab in 10 easy steps.

Step 2: Dress the Part. You should always be unique.

Timeline: 3 months since arrival in Canada.

_Side Note number 4: Explaining "the part."_

_The way you dress is another way to stand out. If you just instantly start dressing like the natives no one is going to find you interesting, accent and all. Wear things that are for your home: exclusive bands, sports teams, TV shows: etc. This way the only way to knock their curiosity away they'll have to ask you what it is and we all know what more conversations lead to. (See Side Note Number 3). _

Take Matthew, he's sporting a shirt about one of our friends back home, Shane Helms. On the front it said 'Look out' then when he turned to get an order of coffee it read 'there's a hurricane coming through.' Of course most people up in Canada thought it might be the North Carolina Hurricanes, the hockey team yes. But the colors tell you other whys so he's met a lot of people thanks to Mr. Helms, I'll have to send him some cookies. I know he's missing Mattie's cookies.

I should take this time to tell you about our best friends back home while they're still on my mind. This might be hard to write but I love those guys enough to make the rest of my day depressed.

**Shane Helms- He'd have to be Matt's best friend ever. I mean it didn't start out that way, Matt's old best friend was a complete and utter loser who liked Matt for his popularity in school, but he was just there after our dad got sick. Back then Matt was forced to work at this kiddy place, like a rip off of Chuckie Cheese, the most money for the most torture I guess. Anyway, Shane was his trainer at the new job and soon they became rather close. It also helped that they both shared the same dry humor. If they had met earlier they probably would have poured salt on slugs and catching ants on fire. Matt is going to hate me for what I'm about to tell you, but whatever, Shane was his first. It's kind of sweet in a weird way. Shane was there doing one of our hardest times and then he help Matt through another hard time. We'll always probably be friends with that crazy green haired dude.**

**Shannon Moore- Shannon is my Shane, but in a more compact package. He's lamer than lame, but he is good for laughs. He helped me get through the hard time after my mother was found to have cancer. He's like my little blonde rock. He's also my connection to the south. How else would we have known Matt's ex-girlfriend was spreading rumors about how we went to Canada because we hated the south? Shane then stomped down there, and cause he wouldn't have hit a girl, so he beat up her older brother, who ironically, was Matt's ex-best friend Jason. **

**There our losers and we love them all the same. **

**That had to be the hardest thing about leaving North Carolina leaving those two behind but the wanted to be wrestlers and only wrestlers. They were happy we were following one of our dreams. Well, the one most easily done. **

Actually I might have lied. Some of the guys are there to see the green thong that is matching the shirt Matt's wearing. He blames me every time his pants fall down. I did kind of steal his belt this morning. It's not like it's a crime to steal a sibling's belt these days. Well, the boss should be happy we're selling all those weird brews just so some perverts can get a peek at Matt's underroos. Matt, and Lita, and I have a break so we're sitting at a table over in the corner.

"Ow!" Sorry. Matt just hit me.

"More people have seen my ass in the last hour than in my whole life."

"It's not my fault you went for the thong."

"But it is your fault you took my belt."

I know Matt can't help it he's an inspiring fashion designer. Everything has to match all the time. Which is somewhat annoying, but when you get all these cool clothes from your brother you let him bitch and moan about anything if it means new clothes.

"You act like you don't like the attention."

"I don't" He's lying I can see he's only doing it for his ex-girlfriend.

"Is everyone gay here?" Amy asked as she drinks from her water bottle.

"With you around they'd have to be."

She glares at me but says nothing. I sigh. I hate when we all have breaks off together. Our boss, Shane McMahon hasn't said anything about Matt's pants. I think he secretly likes it, perv. I'm not quite sure why he's working at all, I mean his dad owns the biggest Art gallery in North America why make your own son work. I personally think he's perfect for Matt, not the old man, Shane. I mean if the Canadian god isn't attainable might as well go for your boss.

"I like your shirt dude." A college kid tells Shane when he gets his coffee.

"Thanks, it's a lot more expensive then it looks."

_Side Note Number 5: _

_Don't get friends that just want you for your money, we don't need gold diggers either. Just because you're new to town doesn't mean you have to tell everyone how much you make the minute you meet them. If your friends can't like you even if you hang at a drift shop then you don't need them, new to town or not. _

See Shane, doesn't care if he gets anymore friends, is always going to throw it in your face he has more money. I look over to Matt who is drawing this kick ass shirt; I hope it's for me. I like when Matt makes me things, even if they're not from a certain place that's extra thing's I can model and extra money if anyone likes it.

"How come you never make anything for me anymore Matt?" And of course the evil red head has to turn it around to her.

"Women are harder to tailor.. I figure if I get some more training I'd make something for you."

"Or you can stop being cheap and buy your own clothes?" I smirk at her.

Matt sighs and puts away his sketch book before getting back up to start serving people. Shane seems grateful and sits back down and begins typing something fierce. He acts like it was a rush or something. Hell, we're about to close down.

The ding sounds in the shop and in walks The Canadian God. Apparently Brian knows him, he's a music player and he runs a local hockey summer camp in town for free, for the kids that can't pay for it. He walks right up to Matt and starts up a conversation.

"Sorry about yesterday. I didn't realize how people might feel about their accents."

"I'm not ashamed of it. I just didn't understand what the joke was a-boot."

Adam smiles. "You're so adorable." Matt giggles; he does that when he's nervous. "Ice coffee, please."

Matt bends in the freezer without thinking. The Canadian God can't even resist the underwear. Shane deserves two dozen cookies. Lita is glaring at Adam and is about to confront him when he turns and waves at us.

"2.50."

"Nice underwear. Fashion major?"

"How did you—."

"The thong matches the shirt. You should come to this party I'm having before school starts."

"I don't, I mean I don't even know your name."

"He doesn't care, we'll be there."

"Adam Copeland."

"What?" Matt stops glaring at me long enough to wonder what the blonde is talking about.

"My name, southern belle."

"Oh." Matt's blushing pretty deep red. Lita is looking more pissed as the conversation goes on. The Canadian ignores her and writes the address then leaves.

"Nice work Mattie-poo."

"Thanks." I know he really didn't hear me so I take that chance to smile at him. We're closing down the café when he suddenly stops.

"Did he just call me a girl?"

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Note from Izzy:

;; I tried to remember where I was going with this fic so it might not be exactly the same, I still like it though :


End file.
